Me, Myself and I-pod = Closure

So, I just got back from a good 3 mile walk where I was able to spend some really good, solid quality time alone. (thank you David!) I needed the alone time more than I realized. I was about 1 mile in when tears just started flowing down my face. Next thing you know I was singing loud, I mean really loud (yes, out loud!) to my Ipod. (Got some interesting looks, but I didnt care!) I havent felt that free in a long long time.

Rewind 7 weeks ago:
This is the email I sent to my dearest friends on Wednesday, August 13.

Hi everyone -
Hope all is well! I just wanted to give an update on our crazy last 9 days over here...
Mia is doing very well - she is completely off of oxygen and out of the billi lights. She has her car seat evaluation today - where she sits in the car seat for an hour and if she doesn't have any apnea spells than she will pass that! One step closer to home. She is also doing very well on her feedings. She is almost up to 2 ounces every 3 hours... She is weighing in at 5lbs 5 oz now! I dont really have any great pictures yet -- but as soon as I do, I will make sure to send them. She is lovely!

On Sunday night around 4am I woke up to go to the bathroom and found that I was hemorrhaging. Dave called 911 and I got a first class ride in the ambulance (sirens and all!) back to Abbott where I was admitted. I lost 5 units of blood and had to have several blood transfusions. My CT scan showed that I had internal bleeding and that my uterus was full of blood. I had emergency surgery.(which went very well) The day is mostly a blur - but the 2 scariest things I faced throughout the day were being wheeled around in a bed with a 'crash cart' on my bed as 7 nurses ran around me in some sort of organized chaos. And then of course the blood transfusion. Apparently a girl my height has aprox 7 units of blood in her and I had lost 5. A normal hemoglobin count is 12, mine was at 5. I stayed in the ICU and was given excellent care and every time I woke up either my sister or Dave was sitting in the chair next to me holding my hand. I am home now and am feeling much better. I am on some iron supplements to get my hemoglobin back up - and basically am back on bed rest until the blood can rebuild.

After facing these last few months of a difficult and complicated pregnancy and then having an unplanned emergency c- section - this was like a kick in the stomach to our family. I tell you all this not to complain, but because I am very grateful for the family and friends and of course our new miracle baby. When things like this happen - everything gets put into perspective and everything around becomes clear. I wanted to thank you all for your support and well wishes, the thoughts and prayers that have surrounded our family throughout out these last months. I know, sappy sappy - and it could very well be the new mommy hormones - but I felt it necessary to let you all know you are an important part of our lives and Dave, Nick and I couldn't have done it without you.

Take care and looking forward to introducing our Miss Mia to you as she makes her homecoming in the very near future!
Love,Carissa

And now, here we are. I am ready to move on. I was watching Oprah the other day and there was this amazing woman on - she had just had a baby when a flesh eating infection over took her body. She ended up losing her colon, her uterus, her gallbladder and both of her arms and legs had to be amputated. She made it home to be with her family after 4 months. She walked out on stage with prosthetics. I bawled like a baby. She was so positive and uplifting. I have been dwelling on this event that happened to me, this event that almost took my life, and here I am completely healthy with my entire body in tact. Shame on me. So, today on my walk I realized as the tears were pouring down my face that I am ready. I am ready to be whole again and to put this and these painful days behind me.

What a difference an hour makes.

Love to you all -
Carissa

Happy Fall!

Hi guys, Nick here today. Aren't these nice warm days the best? We have been outside enjoying it as much as we can. I have been going on lots of walks with Mommy, Daddy and Mia. Well, they walk, but I run! I am super fast. Im like Lighting McQueen - Ka-Chow. I am really getting good at listening when they yell "Freeze!" or "Red Light!" I also teach Mia how to look for cars at every stop sign. She usually just sleeps the whole way, but I try to make it interesting for her by chattering and singing along the way. Mommy and Daddy really think I am hilarious. They are always laughing at me. Lately I have really liked the letter "F" I am using it in the beginnings of a lot of my sentences. Like the other day I was reading about giraffes, and I called them firaffes. And elephants. I like to call them felephants. Why this is funny to everyone else, I just don't know. When I saw some ducks at the park the other day, I yelled look at the ... and well I got even more laughter. Who knows. But I guess I should be working on the correct ways to pronounce the words - at least that is what my parents tell me. I think it is way more fun to make up my own words. This last Friday I had soccer. To tell you the truth, it didn't go very well. I was in a cranky mood and after all my so called "complaining" everyone packed up and we had to leave!! I mean, c'mon! Practice wasn't over. No one else was leaving! As we were on our way, I decided I really did want to play, but at that point Mommy was not too happy, and Daddy, well he had to carry me out. Uh oh. I think this Friday I will do better. Here is a video of me practicing kicking the ball in the air. This is my favorite thing to do. I am actually pretty good, when I want to be.

On Thursday, Mommy, Mia and I went to the park for a picnic with Grammie. It was cool. We ate PB&J sandwiches and some grapes. Oh and Cheetos. Yum. But, not Mia. She only gets her bottle. Too bad, these were some really good Cheetos. I played at the park after and then I rode my bike home.

On Saturday - Mia got to meet Uncle Kyle!! We all went to the park to play and then went out to dinner. Keaten and I had the best time. We ran all over the park, went swinging on the swings, down the slides, up and down the ladders. We are best friends. Daddy and Uncle Kyle chased us all over! Mia, as usual just took a nap. I mean, wow. That little peanut pie sure can sleep. BUT - at the restaurant, she woke up. She let us know she was STARVING! Good thing Mom had her fully stocked diaper bag along. Mommy and Auntie Nicki had some "grown up juice" - it looked good, and it made Mommy giggle. She thought I was extra funny at dinner. She told me it was a margarita, and I blurted out, 'fargarita'. Again, the F thing. I don't know why, but I just really like the letter F.

Mia and Uncle Kyle

K and I playing with cars, our fav!

Me and Keaten hiding under the table at Grammie and Grandpa's

Auntie Nicki, Keaten and me at Chili's for dinner!

Mia is growing up so fast. One night last week, she slept through the night. I know this because I did not sleep through that night. I wanted to know where Mia was, and Mommy let me know that she was asleep! I got an extra snuggle, but a firm "go back to bed." The next morning, Mommy called Grammie and Auntie Nicki to brag that Mia had slept from 11:30pm-5:30am. I guess I heard how "cool" it is to sleep through the night. I sort of am going to try to sleep more. Last night, I did. I made Daddy really happy. Mommy cant wait until she isn't awake at 3am anymore. She does say, that she does some really good emailing though, since it is quiet and there is no one around distracting her! She is getting really good at typing with one hand while she holds Mia up after her bottle. Mia's reflux (her "gurgle") is still bugging her. We ordered a special pillow for her, but guess what. Mia is way too small for it. She is still sleeping in her pink chair. She is going in to see Dr Gobel next week and hopefully we can maybe get her some medicine. I think it is really hurting her tummy. I dont like it when my little sister cries. It makes me feel sad.

Auntie Nicki snuggling Mia!

Well, I am going to go play with cars and trucks now. It is raining really hard, so we wont be able to go on our family walk tonight. Good thing Mia and Mommy already went on a walk today!

Bye for now -

Nick

Mommy's note: Well, now we are at 6 weeks post op hemorrhage. I have been walking almost every day since Dr Chow gave me the green light! I am up to 2 miles. Pretty impressive considering 6 weeks ago I was lying in the ICU and couldn't walk 10 feet. I started Weight Watchers and am really excited to feel better and have more confidence. I just have to remember that it took 8 months for my body to get this way, and the weight is not just going to "fall" off of me. I am so thankful that my body has gotten me through the last 6 weeks, let alone the last leg of the pregnancy. I plan on treating it really well with lots of fruits, veggies, protein and healthy carbs. Not to mention - lots and lots of exercise. After all, it is the least I can do for the strength it has shown to me!

Here are some new pics of Mia -

Mia lovin her tub time! Look at her double chin!

Mia being really "alert!" More and more of her time is like this!

6 weeks - and time is a flyin'

**Mommy's note today! Well, it's been another busy week! I cannot believe how the days are flying by. Without work - one would think I would have hours and hours to keep on top of the daily household duties, etc. Today is a day of lounging and laundry here at the house. Mia and I are still in our jammies and I am drinking yet another cup of coffee!

So our week started out with Mia meeting her Great Aunt Pam and Great Grandma Donna. Great Aunt Stacy also came out for a visit! We met over at Grammie Patty's for lunch. Everyone is having so fun much spoiling this little girl. Nick joined "the girls" for lunch - and as usual was our comedic relief! Grandpa came home around 1:30 and Nick joined him downstairs for his "boy time!"

Mia and Aunt Pam

Mia and Great Grandma Donna

Mia and Aunt Stacy

side note: Nick is having a blast with the "girls and boys" segregation now. Last week he went to Chipotle with "the boys" (Daddy and Grandpa) While "the girls" (Mommy, Grammie and Mia) stayed home. He is still talking about it - thinks it is the coolest thing "of his life" which is also his new favorite expression. As I said, he is our little comedian.

Sunday I went to a friend's baby shower - it was so much fun. My friend, Melissa has had a great pregnancy and is due next month! She looks absolutely adorable. Yeah! It was great to see so many friends that I hadnt seen for a long time. It was also nice to be out in the land of "girl talk." I sure have missed that! (I will post pictures when I get them emailed to me-- I forgot my camera.)

I have to admit though that there is a bit of a hollow feeling in my soul knowing I will never be able to carry another child in my womb again. I know in time I will be at peace with this. As for now I continue to count my blessings every day for my 2 wonderful children, my husband and for my health.



Mia continues to thrive and is growing well. She is such a fun baby - she is starting to focus on things and is in the beginning stages of really smiling. She is still a rock star sleeper! We are going a minimum of 3 hours at night, and most nights it is around 5-6 hours. Pretty soon (knockon wood) we may hit the whole night .

Nick is still lovin on his baby sis. He is over at Grammie's today for his usual Wednesday visit. He has started playing soccer on Friday nights. He is really coordinated - it has been fun to watch him.

Not the best picture -- but you get the idea...

Great news - that I almost forgot to share! I had my 6 week post partum appointment - AND it went well! My c-section incision is healing! and... the best news of all - my blood pressure is coming down! I wont have to go back to see Dr Chow until mid October for another visit. I am feeling really well. It was hard to say good bye to the nurses and to Dr Chow - since I know I wont see them for a while - but of course this is the news I was waiting for. Let the excerising and Weight Watchers begin!!!

That's all for now - nothing too exciting to report (just the way we like it, boring and dull is good!)

Love ya'll -
Caris

Happy, Happy, Happy (and just a teeny tiny bit tired...haha!)

I feel pretty, oh so pretty!

I had my very first "photo shoot!"

Me and the boys...

Today I hung out with the boys! Nick, my cousin Keaten and I went to Eagle's Nest indoor playground. Of course we had some chaperone's: Mommy and Grammie! That place is noisy and busy and there are lots of kids. But, as you can see below, that didn't bother me one bit!

Nick and Keaten had a lot of fun -

and Mommy and Grammie need naps now... haha!

This place is cool... look at all the stuff to climb on and slide down!

The boys were really good and doted over me - maybe, just maybe, even fought over me a little bit. Who can blame them?!

Last stop: SHOES! What big boys -- and have I mentioned, I love shoes?

This is Mommy's first "official" full day with both me and Nick! Up to this point we have had either Grammie over helping the whole day, or Nick went to school. We are having a good time. I like it when we are all home together. Mommy is feeling so much better and is playing with us. She even went outside and played soccer last night with Nick!

Oh and guess what, this is a totally different subject, but important none the less. I have reflux. It is yucky. It gives me a tummy ache. But, tomorrow I am getting a package in the mail - it is an Acid Reflux pillow. It looks pretty cool and Dr Gobel said it will really help me. I will tell you all about it and hopefully I will be feeling better soon! For the time being I am sleeping in my pink punkin seat - the crib is just not cutting it. BUT - I did sleep for 5 straight hours last night from 8:30pm to 1:30am. And then, Mommy woke me up. I mean, c'mon. She is always saying to go to sleep and here I am doing just that. She whispered "Mia, come on pretty girl. Time to wake up." Then I got engulfed in kisses. I didnt complain for too long though - she put a nice warm bottle in my mouth really quick and snuggled me really tight. I guess it was worth it after all!

*mommy's note - Both kids are napping! I better go take a nap too - the peace and quiet wont last long! :)

My very first play date!

I had my very first play date today!!


Mommy's really good friend, Angel came over. Angel came to visit me while I was in the hospital too. I love Angel! Angel has been a really good friend to us all the times Mommy was really sad and scared over the last few months. Mommy tells me that they have been friends for over 15 years!That is a long long time!!




Back to me. My new friends, Morgan and Barret came over today to see me. Morgan is Angel's little girl and Barret is a friend of Morgan's. They played with Nick's toys and chatted with me. They even helped me eat a bottle. It was great fun! Morgan is 15 months and Barret is 13 months - so Mommy and Angel were busy. But, wow, I like play dates! Nick was spending time with Grammie, so I had them all to myself. Mommy says that next year I can start dance and join Morgan in her dance class. OOOH! I am so excited. I am really liking music already!


I cant wait for my next play date with Morgan!

xo -
Mia

Feeling human again!

Hey everyone - I had a big outing today (this is Carissa - by the way!) I got my hair cut and colored and my brows waxed. WAY WAY WAY over due! But, when you are on bedrest for 12+ weeks no one really cares what your hair looks like! Anyway, I am feeling human again - a big confidence boost for this new mommy who is lucky to take a shower on a good day. Haha! I picked Nick up from school today and he told me I looked pretty - made my whole day. And through the lack of sleep,(I visited Caribou AND Starbucks today... yikes) the billions of diapers and middle of the night feedings, tripping over toys, and repeated "Hey Mommy's" comments like Nick's today remind me of why I love being a mother.

-Carissa

Quick Nick update

Just got word from Dr Gobel that Nick's Thyroid test is normal! Yeah! Now, we just have a wait and see game for the next few weeks. We will keep track of Nick's symptoms and then take the appropriate actions. We will keep everyone updated. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! We went out for ice cream to celebrate! :)
Hope everyone is enjoying this fall weather -- I know we are!

Love,
Carissa

One tired, but happy Mom!

Nick lovin on his "little peanut pie"

Nick loves having his picture taken!

Talking to Grammie on the phone!

I'm a travelin' girl!

This past week was really fun. Now that I am "full term" Mommy let me out of the house! We had a visit out almost every day! On Tuesday I got to take a look and see where Mommy used to work. She introduced me to a lot of people and everyone told me how cute I was and how glad that everyone was safe and sound. But - the most fun was -- I went out to lunch with the girls! I hear all about Mommy's friends and now I got to meet them! Well, I already met Katie - she came and saw me when I was really little in the hospital. She couldn't believe how much I had grown and how much I look like Nick! I met Melissa, Meg and Megan too. I had lunch right with the girls - 2 bottles, down the hatch! Mommy told me all the way home how much fun she had! We both hope to see them all again soon!

Here I am with Katie

And here I am with Megs

On Wednesday, I went with Mommy to her Dr appointment. EVERYONE was "oohing and ahhing" all over me. Apparently I am "one cute bundle!" I got to see all the nurses who took good care of Mommy and me. I also got to chat with Dr Chow. He was really happy to see me looking so healthy too. Poor Mommy, her blood pressure is still not cooperating and her incision is not healing right. She has to keep on going in until they are better. Oh well, at least I get to go along!

On Thursday, WE WENT SHOPPING! Grammie and Mommy took me clothes shopping. You wont believe all the cute new outfits I got! It was so much fun. Daddy and Nick just laughed at me and Mommy when we kept pulling out new clothes and hats and socks. I LOVE SHOPPING!

Before Shopping...

...after ShoppingThen, on Friday - we went to Nick's soccer practice and then... We went to the cabin. I had a great nap the whole way there. I was so good, I didnt make one peep the whole 3 hours. Nick told me all about the cabin, the train set, the trucks and the boat. I couldnt wait to get there! We had a wonderful weekend. I got thousands of kisses from everyone. I cant wait to go back in a few weeks.

Mia, Nick, Grammie and Grandpa

And us with Daddy!
I like being out and about! I cant wait to explore more!

XOXO,

Mia

Hi from Nick!

Hi, Nick here. I'm a big brother! I love being a big brother. I love love love Mia. I have 3 nicknames for her - "my little peanut pie"and "my little punkin" and "my little squeaky." She is really loud - she squeaks and grunts and stretches all the time. It is really funny. I have been playing with her a lot. When I get home from school the first thing I ask Mommy is "Where's Mia?" I tickle her toes and her tummy. She also really likes it when I sing songs to her. So far her favorite one is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She smiles and opens her eyes when I sing to her. I tell everyone that will listen to me that I have a sister named Miss Mia. You know what I really like? Having my picture taken with Mia. She doesn't know how to smile or anything, but I do. I say "Cheese" really loud and then smile really big for the camera.


I love holding her hands and giving her kisses

Hanging out with my little sis
Eating a chocolate cupcake - celebrating Mia's homecoming

This weekend is Labor Day weekend. We have had some visitors come to see me and Mia. Yesterday Gramona and Grandpa Gene came. It was really cool because they brought me a new matchbox car. And then today Mommy and Daddy's friends Chris and Suz came over for a nice visit. They live in Chicago - so it was really special that they were able to come and see us. Well, off to bed for me. Talk to you later!

Mommy's note:
Hello! Tomorrow, September 1st is Mia's actual due date. I cant believe she is almost 1 month old already. She is doing so well - she just doesn't act like a preemie at all. Last night she ate at 11:00, then at 2:30, then at 6:30! Only one night time feeding. AMAZING!

Also, just to keep everyone in the loop -- Nick hadn't been feeling very well, so we brought him into Dr Gobel. She sent us to Children's Hospital as some of his symptoms were quite troubling. Thankfully so far all the tests have been coming back fine. We have ruled out the scary 3 illnesses - Leukemia, Lymphoma and Congestive Heart Failure. We are still waiting on some of the other tests and then will be bringing him in to an Endocrinologist. In general he is playing well, eating well and just like himself. We will keep everyone updated. Please keep him in your thoughts as we try and get to the bottom of what is wrong.

It has now been 3 weeks since my post op hemorrhage. I am feeling better and better each day. My blood pressure is still too high - so I get to continue going into the clinic weekly while we try and manage that. I started some blood pressure meds about 2 weeks ago - we are hoping these will work soon. All in all, I am totally and completely on the mend. Thank you all for keeping our family close as this month has proven to be chaotic and frightening. Things are looking up as we head into September. Talk to you all soon!